Don't Eat Your Ice Cream While Riding An E-Bike

Tuesday my friend Chantelle and I were hanging out, and we decided we wanted to go into town. We live on the outskirts of our small little village, and it takes about 45 minutes to walk there. Chantelle had suggested we take the E-Bike (Or MoPed, whatever you want to call it) into town, cutting our time in half. So I said "Sure!" And went back to my house to ask my parents if I could go. My mom told us we could go, just as long as we wore pants instead of our shorts in case of road rash and to bring her back a chocolate bar. So, I pulled in a pair of sweats, and we raced out of there. (With helmets, obviously.) We got into town, I bought Chantelle and myself some ice cream (which was amazing, it had skittle bits in it) and my moms chocolate bar. We hung out outside the store for a bit, and I took off my sweat pants, still wearing my shorts underneath, because it was getting hot. Then, we had decided we would finish up our ice cream at the park and then go home, because my mother had told us to go in, get our stuff, and go out. So we hopped on the MoPed, I shoved my pants in the back compartment, and we were off. We went the long way around, avoiding the skate park because it was a little embarrassing, wearing our huge helmets while scooting along on this little electric bike, and wouldn't you know it....

WE CRASHED.

Yep, that's right. I wasn't wearing my sweat pants. A mirror broke, and worst of all, we dropped our ice creams. And you want to know the very worst part of not wearing my sweatpants? ROAD BURN. On my knee. Where I bend. And my elbow. ALSO WHERE I BEND.

Ugh. Every time I move I break open a scab. It hurts! But, you should be proud of me, random strangers, because I didn't cry! I was mostly upset about the ice cream :/

Tears and Fake Smiles

Today I almost had an emotional breakdown. I'm not sure what caused it, whether the book I am reading currently in my English class, Speak, has had a massive effect on me and is actually making me depressed as I read it, or I've come to the sudden realization that me and my father aren't all that close as I once thought.

I walked into my bedroom after school today, and found my dad using my computer like he usually does, playing Age of Empires or whatever war game he has going right now. I told him about how Speak is making me feel depressed, and he was saying it was just that the book was really good and it brought the reader into it. I continued to tell him that I couldn't wait until the poetry unit, because I happen to be a self-proclaimed poet. He told me "I know why. I'm sorry if it feels like I've intruded into your private matters, but I see the stuff you write because you leave it on your desk. It's good. Dark, but dark is creative. Just think of Edgar Allan Poe, he was dark and intensely creative."
No, I wasn't mad that he read it. More surprised that he hasn't confronted me about having depression or something of the like. (Maybe I do have depression?) But it really hit me that he knows more than I think he does. Does he know some of my inner most thoughts? Does he know I think he ignores me for my other siblings? Does he know I'm still upset that he had to cancel our ice skating plans when I was 11?

That couldn't possibly be it, of course. If he knew what I was thinking, and knew that I miss him even though he is standing right in front of me, he would do something about it. He wouldn't be doing this on purpose. He's not that kind of person.

Of course not.

But he knows at least a little bit of what's going on, from what I leave on my desk. I leave notes on my desk. Poetry, story ideas that aren't so pleasant. I happen to be a dark person on the inside compared to my bubbly exterior.

I guess not all people are what they appear to be.

Ignored by All (Including my cat)

Well, it's basically just the icing on top of this shitty cake that my cat has a second family now.

First off, I'm not actually positive my cat has a second family, but I'm just guessing since he left 2 months ago, and now he's back. But instead of being skinny like a cat usually would, being away from food and such, he's fatter than he's ever been. So it's just an assumption, really.

And he's only cuddly when he's hungry.

Stupid felines. they're like men; They'll ditch you for some better grub.

Anyhow, on to the more important topic.

I feel like my friends (and acquaintances, since not everyone that hangs out in my group is pleasant) are just dismissing whatever I say as a joke or a sarcastic quip. It's usually not, I'd like to think of myself as sort of a serious person. But then again, I have been told my facial expressions are somewhat hilarious and it's hard to take me seriously.

My face is betraying me.

And also, I feel like a lot of people are mean to me, as well. They're poking me and hitting me and punching me, flicking me and messing my hair up. Also, the rude comments I could do without as well. Especially from my closest guy friends, who apparently don't know the meaning of the word "Courteous."

cour·te·ous

Adjective:

Polite, respectful, or considerate in manner.

It also doesn't help that I am being ignored by the boys, either (Except for the rude buggers mentioned above)

Oh, and the worst part, I'm getting a lot more attention from my ex-boyfriends new girlfriend. She keeps giving me these looks of sympathy, and whenever I walk past her she gives me her doe-eyed, adorable look of "Gosh-I-Feel-bad-that-I-have-what-you-had-and-you-didn't-realize-how-great-it-was"kind of thing.

Great, because losing him didn't hurt enough already. Now I have his girlfriend feeling sorry for me. Makes me feel so much better.

Subtract a couple points from my self-esteem.